Fur The Love of Fostering

Fostering animals is one of the most rewarding things many of us will ever do. It’s an act of love, of compassion, and of wanting to make the world a little better for the souls who’ve been dealt a difficult hand. Most fosters have big hearts—we say “yes” because we want to help. We say “yes” because we’re capable, resourceful, and caring. And sometimes… we say “yes” even when we shouldn’t.

One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned in my fostering journey is this:

Our resident animals must come first. Always.

It sounds simple, but it’s not. When we open our homes to foster pets, it’s easy to get caught up in the emotional side of rescue. We focus on the animal who needs us right now, the one whose story pulls on our heartstrings. In that moment, we don’t always remember that our own animals—the ones we committed to for life—have needs, boundaries, and limits, too.

When Our Residents Speak, We Have to Listen

In my home, I’ve seen firsthand what happens when compatibility is overlooked. Even with the best intentions, bringing in an animal who doesn’t match the energy or needs of your household can create stress you never anticipated. Behavior begins to shift—sometimes subtly, sometimes dramatically. You may see:
– Increased anxiety
– Resource guarding or aggression
– Marking or inappropriate urination/defecating
– Withdrawn behavior
– Tension between animals who previously got along

It’s not “bad behavior.” It’s communication.

These are our resident pets’ ways of saying, “I’m overwhelmed. I’m uncomfortable. Something here isn’t working for me.” And ignoring that message, even accidentally, does them a disservice.

A Lesson in Compatibility and Boundaries

In my household, we’ve learned to be intentional about the fosters we take in. Every incoming dog must match our current environment’s needs—energy level, temperament, social tolerance, and even size sometimes. Not because we don’t want to help, but because we have to keep the balance in our home healthy and safe.

When those needs aren’t respected, everything shifts. The energy in the home becomes unsettled. Resident pets act out, stress rises, and chaos follows. And truthfully, it’s not fair to the foster pet either—they deserve a space where they are set up to succeed, not simply tolerated or managed.

Asking the Right Questions Matters

One of the biggest mistakes fosters make—myself included—is not asking enough questions up front. Rescue organizations often do their best, but they don’t always know the full story. If we don’t advocate for what our home needs, we can end up with a foster who simply isn’t a fit.

And that’s not failure. That’s awareness.

It’s recognizing that throwing ourselves into every situation doesn’t make us better fosters—being honest about what we can handle does.

There Is No Shame in Setting Boundaries

Some people can take in any animal, any behavior, any challenge. Some homes thrive on constant rotation and unpredictability. Others need structure, predictability, and harmony.

Neither is right or wrong.

What matters is understanding your home, your pets, and your limits. I used to accept anything and everything. It made me feel helpful, involved, important in the rescue world. But eventually, the stress became overwhelming—for me and for my animals. That’s when I learned to create boundaries.

And you know what? Those boundaries made me a better foster. A more thoughtful one. A more compassionate one—because compassion must start with the animals we already share our lives with.

Choosing Your Resident Pets First Is Not Selfish
– It’s responsible.
– It’s kind.
– It’s honoring the promise you made to them.

Saying “no” doesn’t make you heartless. It makes you self-aware and honest about what you and your household can handle. And in rescue, self-awareness honesty is very important.

SO, if you’re struggling like I did to be brave enough to voice your needs and set boundaries, know that some people simply won’t get it. But many others will—and most of them learned the importance of boundaries the tough way. Those are the people who will genuinely support you. Set the boundaries, and remember boundaries are flexible, you can adjust them as you need.